Endings and Beginings.

So as you all know Adam left me in January but we carried on living together until late March when I discovered some things that made that situation untenable. Since then I've been desperately trying to save my marriage and to "save" Adam from himself as I saw it. I had plenty of advice from people telling me to move on and the majority was kindly meant but I wasn't able to move on until I was convinced I'd fought for the man I (still) love. However, yesterday we went for our last counselling session and things changed for me.

Adam was very reluctant but came because I asked him to do that for me. He knew it would be painful and he was right, it was one of the most difficult experiences of my life but it was hugely cathartic and extremely valuable. I was able to try one last time to make Adam see my point of view and what I thought should, or could happen and he was able to tell me why it just won't. I still think he's wrong and am very sad about it but I've done all I can and I have to let him live his own life and make his own mistakes. I just pray they won't be of the same scale as what he has done to me.

I feel ready to start moving on now. I've got plenty of hard work ahead of me and I need to grieve and rebuild my life but I can START that process now. I'm going to need lots of help. I want to meet new people and do new things. I'm not looking to find love, just peace.

Wish me luck.