New Monday

I woke up this morning and for the first time in weeks my heart wasn't racing and I didn't feel close to panic. It has been an odd feeling. I think that I've probably felt this stressed at the lack of work in September before, but in the past I have dealt with these feelings by eating. When I felt sick with worry I'd eat, when I was upset and frightened, I'd eat. This is the first year I have had to face this feeling of impotence and fear for the future without food as a tranquiliser Intuitive Eating isn't always easy, sometimes we don't want to tune in and acknowledge our feelings, sometimes we want to hide from them and their root causes. It has been strange, but ultimately helpful, to wonder why I was worried and look that worry square in the face. And I haven't turned to food!

It doesn't look like I'll be working today so I'm going to take advantage of the sunshine to get some laundry done. I have huge amounts of clothes mostly living in bags and boxes, unsorted and unused. I'm going to try and get lots of them put away today so I can work out what clothes I actually NEED to buy. I have a feeling I might have about twenty little black tops.